The Spring Beer Tourney: # 8 Blue Moon Spring vs # 9 Shiner Dortmunder

      Blue Moon made a pretty good Spring Beer last year, but this sounds terrible, Spring Blonde Wheat Ale.  Shiner Dortmunder could be good although I can't figure out exactly what it is.  Blue moon is light gold with some caramel, citrus and biscuit.  Dortmunder is gold with dull caramel and citrus.  Moon is fizzy and crisp with almost no flavor, at least there's no bad flavor.  Dort is sour caramel and barnyard, like an awful farmhouse ale.  I can't believe how lame these are, no flavor vs bad flavors.  these are dogs, get them the fuck out of here I can't stand the thought of having to drink either one of these again.  Since I used replacements in the other region, I'm doing the same here.  Next, the scabs.

The Spring Beer Tourney: # 7 Founder's DT vs Troeg's Nugget Nectar

      Our next match up in the first round is Founders Double Trouble and Troegs Nugget Nectar.  These are hop heavy beers from the Farm, Hops and Reds Region. And founders DT wins with a 9.4 % ABV.  Just kidding. Actually, Troegs Nugget has a 7.5 so I'll give it a chance. DT is a clear light gold with nice herb, honey and caramel on the nose.  Nugget is a very light amber with herb and strong caramel. Wow, both of these beers are nearly identical, with massive amounts of herbal hop up front, in the middle, and gobs of painfully strong herb on the finish. What do I do with this.  They are both equally worthless. I soldier on , but I still can't really get anything out of these, you can't even taste the alcohol. I fear picking one, cause I'll have to drink more of it. You know what, fuck it, screw them both. These guys are locked out, I'm gonna find some scabs to replace them. Bwa, ha, ha.

Mission Street Brown Ale

      Since I can find no website for this I assume it's another Trader Joe's label.  Mission pours out light brown with lots of caramel, light mocha and a touch of herb.  It has some nice citrus herb up front, but boy there is no flavor.  The body is shockingly weak,  this is mildly flavored water.  I was going to continue,  but this is so lame and awful.  A big loser.  Oh,  I see Beer Advocate gave it a B,  that is so insane and absurd.  No credibility.

Southern Tier Krampus

      Because this is called Krampus it must be a Christmas Beer,  but it just showed up in my store a little while ago.  Strange.  I had to try this cause Krampus is an excellent name for a beer.  Last time I had Southern Tier I was saying I hated them, and I used the words, terrible,  wretched and putrid. I hope this is better.  It pours out a medium gold with a massive herbal hop nose.  Oh no.  The first sip is awful.  Just a massive sledgehammer of painful herb.  I will keep trying to see if I can find other flavors.  It gets somewhat better when you get used to it, especially when the 9% ABV kicks in.  However,  this still sucks giant balls.  Southern Tier should drown themselves in barrels of this swill they call beer.  I hate them more.  Die.

Sierra Nevada Celebration

      Sierra Nevada Celebration is a fresh hop ale, I.P.A. style.  I could not be more sceptical.   I.P.A. stands for India Pale Ale.  I can see why they would put this out now, seeing as India is known for it's harsh Winters.  I.P.A. is a warm weather style you morons.  Well, let's see how much I enjoy this.  I will say the bottle is delightfully seasonal.  Celebration pours out an amber with a strong herb and mild caramel nose.  This doesn't look good.  And it's not.  This is a massively over hopped I.P.A.  There are no flavors here but a typhoon of herbal hop.  No malt or alcohol upgrade to balance it out.  Not only have they put this out at the wrong time, but there would never be a right time to put out this garbage.  I had to pour it down the sink after a brave effort to choke it down.  Grab your pitch forks and torches we're going to California.  So Fail.

Flying Fish Grand Cru Winter Reserve

      Boy, that's a pretentious title for a beer.  But, you have to one if you're going to charge a lot for your product.  The Cru pours out a pale straw with a strong coriander/ white spice nose.  Maybe some of you will like this, but I find it horrific and undrinkable.  Strong coriander and feet.  If you like a white ale mixed with pee, this is for you.  I will try to finish half, no,  I can't.  Down the sink with this swill.  By far the worst of the Winter beers and maybe the worst beverage I have ever had.  An angry mob should be assembled to deal with this menace to our taste buds.  Grab your pitch forks.

Heavy Seas Winter Storm

      Heavy Seas has produced really good beers, Prosit, and really bad beers, Letter of Marque.  I hope their Winter Storm is more of the former.  The Storm pours out a classic amber with hop, caramel, vanilla, spice and mocha.  And all that potential is completely fucking ruined.  The stupid jerks have masked it all with a truck load of painfully strong hop.  So no other taste is discernible.  I will endeavor to slog through this to see if it gets better.  I managed to finish it, but this is still a fail.  A hateful mess.

Southern Tier Old Man Winter Ale

      Southern Tier is from the distinctly not Southern town of Lakewood, New York.  Old Man Winter pours a very light brown with an herb and caramel nose.  The flavor is super duper painful hop heavy.  I struggle to find other flavors as each sip intensifies the horrific hop overload.  But, there is nothing here to balance out this hop terror.  This is terrible, wretched and putrid.  I hate you Southern Tier.

Abita Christmas Ale

      Abita of course is out of New Orleans which is a lovely town that smells like pee.  I question their ability to make a Christmas beer, but we shall see.  Light brown with herbal hop, caramel, spice and yeast.  Holy Christ, here is our first massively over hopped mess.  There are some malts and hints of spice, but they are tragically overwhelmed.  Abita you have proved me tragically right.  This beer sucks, I don't like it, don't buy it.  Boo.  Oh, the bottle sucks.

Heavy Seas Mutiny Fleet: Letter of Marque

      Letter of Marque is part of Heavy Seas strong Mutiny Fleet line of beers.  By strong they mean high alcohol and high flavor.  I loved their Imperial Octoberfest, which was fest on steroids. But, this is a rye porter so let's taste it shall we.  This is a nice dark brown and has a strong hop nose, with mocha, caramel and spice.  Up front their is a massive flood of bitter hop.  Maybe there are some other flavors a bit of cara...wait.  Nope, this hop is totally ruining this beer.  It's so strong it's burning my mouth.  I can't believe anyone would ruin all this alcohol this way. They should be ashamed.  Heavy Seas has really let me down.  Now I'm going to have to choke down this garbage to extract the precious alcohol.  Do not buy this beer.

Magic Hat Odd Notion #9

The last Magic Hat beer I had was the ridiculously named Vinyl, which was quite good. But I've always found Magic Hat to be very hit or miss. Let's hope this is a hit. Odd Notion is a cloudy straw color with a citrus caramel nose. The flavor is as advertised, odd. it's got some caramel, but the hop flavors are just not good. They are not too strong, just bad. There is no balance here and I'm not sure what this is supposed to be. I tried it with the burgers I'm enjoying and it's terrible with food. They must have smoked bales of pot before making this mess. Avoid this stuff, whatever it is.